What a blessing of an evening tonight was. My dear friend and soul sister Liz came over, and we shared a wonderful dinner of split pea soup and bread, followed by berry pie and white jasmine tea, and again followed by porch sitting with the night and some sacred tobacco. My whole evening became this beautiful gift of sisterhood, and of juicy conversation that has left me feeling nourished and loved. I am grateful to the whole universe for Liz, and her soulful place in my life.
I am forever more and more grateful for the people who have come into my life in the last couple of years. I have always had good friends and people to spend my time with. And I have always been blessed in some way by those friendships. But the kind of people in my life now are people who I can be fully myself with. People who also choose to show up and be fully who they are, too. I love the way a pot of split pea soup is all that is needed for bringing us together. No night of drinking and feeling like shit the next day. No expensive dinners at fancy restaurants. No shopping extravaganzas for shoes and electronics. And the quality of what emerges, too, is different. I don't spend my time in conversation complaining, judging, belittling, and talking about nonsense. In the past, all of these things were the fodder of my regular conversations. And it's no wonder I never felt fulfilled by them in a deeper way. But now, these sweet and meaningful connections really do nourish me. I am so grateful to be able to show up and be exactly as I am in the moment. No judgement. No one convincing me to get over it, or drop it, or just drink a little and relax. Nope, the sweet people in my life hold space for me to be real in each moment. And I am hoping that I offer them the same.
It was just three years ago right about now when my life crashed pretty hard. After ending an important love relationship, I had gone to Paris for a few weeks. Upon returning, my best girlfriend decided that she needed a break from our friendship. I felt abandoned in a time of great sorrow, and confused by the way that my life had seemingly fallen into a heap in front of me. The next group of people who I became friends with were all wonderful people, but they were heavy drinkers. The only thing we ever did together was drink. I was the hippie, the artist chick, the lightweight. And I met my next boyfriend through them. It turned out that he was an alcoholic with some serious issues. When I walked away from that relationship, I walked away from that whole group of people, too.
Through my entire time here in Oella, though - nearly eight years now - the people who have always come back into my life were those who felt like my soul family. Ali and Forrest, Lynn and Ros. Leslie became a part of that, too. And now, the whole Oella tribe has grown tremendously to include a sweet group of people who have joined in our Wisdom Circle. In these last six years, my soul family has become the heart of this community, and I love them more every day. Too, when I came to Oella, I had a lot of conflict with my family of origin. Now, not only do I have a soul family, but I have been lucky to heal my relationship with my birth family, too. The circle grows ever wider.
So, tonight as I move toward sleep, I offer a prayer of gratitude. For all the blessed beings who have graced my life and gone, who have taught me about loving and connecting in all the ways that I have come to know. And to those blessed beings who have taught me what it is like to experience interdependence, acceptance, and gracious support as life delivers each next thing.
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