Avatar and Mother Earth

After a long, seemingly endless time in the dark of my own soul, I am emerging again. And I am emerging with anger and ferocity that I have not felt within myself in a long time. It is an anger that guides me toward true north, and helps me to shed all that does not serve.
And now, my anger is in response to the movie "Avatar," which chronicles the destruction of a beautiful planet by the US military, in hope of raping and pillaging the land on that planet for their own greedy purposes. To me, this is the truth of the very story that has been happening right here on Mother Earth, and it is a story that I have been familiar with for a long time. And it is a story that has plunged me into the depths of despair and hopelessness, feeling that there is nothing that I, just one woman, can do to make a difference. But in spite of that hopelessness, this anger is rising within me again, rising like a phoenix from the ashes, pointing me in the direction of my own life's deeper purpose.
This morning an old friend of mine published a comment on his facebook wall about the movie, saying that it was far from a "life changer." He is from the south, a good Christian man, and while that has rarely felt like an intrusion into our friendship, the undercurrents of our vastly different beliefs have surfaced on occasion. And here, I can't help but wonder, do the vast majority of Christians really, truly believe that the Earth is here for our domination and taking, and that it doesn't really matter what happens here, that only what comes beyond this life is of any importance? Because if they do, there is truly no hope for the planet. We will collectively continue to rape and pillage Her until we become extinct ourselves. Do these people *truly* believe that Jesus wants it this way, that this is the will of God? Do they believe that honoring the Earth herself as holy and sacred is profane and dangerous, pagan, even evil? I can't even begin to comprehend that way of thinking and living.
There is no Daddy God in the Sky out there who is going to save our wretched asses from our own foolish actions!!
In order to really "save the environment/planet/Earth" we must move beyond the simple ideas we have implemented that are just not enough. Recycling is good, and should absolutely be required by law...and it's not enough. We must use less, change our attitudes, leave behind our disposable culture. Reusing is essential. We are lazy fucks, for the most part, and need to get over it. Reduction of our waste generation is absolutely required. Wealth does not equal the choice to manufacture endless crap, then cast it aside, and then manufacture more endless crap. That is childish and fickle at best, and is causing great destruction. Beyond this, energy use is changing, too. Hybrid electric vehicles, solar and wind power, and the like are really good steps in the right direction. But we still demand what we want when we want it. What will bring us to CHOOSE to use less, drive less, need less? We are slaves to our comfort, to our convenience, to our whims and desires, and they are costing a great deal more than money.
Ultimately, there is no true solution possible unless we step down from our high pedestal as humans, the dominant species, and become a part of the family of Mother Earth, along with the plants, minerals, waters, and animals. We must drop our human-centric nature, and learn to love the whole Earth as our brothers and sisters, ancestors and children. AHO.

The Heart of Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving week is here. And I have so much to be grateful for in my life. I am going to enjoy spending time each day devoting my attention to all the blessings my life has generously given me. Most recently, I am grateful to be alive and well in this body that I call my home. After my accident, I am feeling a renewed sense of gratitude for my life. Especially since during the previous week I spent a lot of time saying "fuck it all" and "what is the point of this life anyway?" I wonder if I had given more energy to that kind of thinking whether my accident would have turned out any differently... What I do know is that life gives us all opportunities to check out or to decide to stay around. And I am feeling pretty clear right now that I am exactly where I need to be. This life has a lot more to offer me, and I have a lot more to offer it.

I have a bright red rental car right now, and was able to go to the body shop and empty my car of so much crap. I was told that they should have an opportunity to check out my car tomorrow and hopefully determine the cost of repairs, and whether or not my insurance company will pay for those repairs or total the car. Either way, it is pretty much empty now. I took away bag after bag of stuff: two large plastic garbage bags filled with glass and plastic recycling, a bag of clothes and shoes, another bag of papers and binders, and several more bags of random stuff. I even found an umbrella! I didn't know I even owned one...

I am also grateful that I could go grocery shopping tonight. I pulled out a cookbook from a Buddhist monastery, and found a couple of heavenly sounding recipes. One was for quinoa lentil mushroom loaf, and the other was for sweet potato burritos. Unfortunately, I ended up needing a lot of ingredients, and headed out to Trader Joe's and My Organic Market. By the time I got home, it was nearly 8pm, and my steam for cooking up a feast had withered. So, tomorrow night I will have good things to create, and that sounds wonderful!

One of the things that I get frustrated with this time of year, though, is the whole speedy convenience living of it all. Trader Joe's was filled with tables and shelves of ready-made foods that would be luxurious and tasty for the holiday. And there were tons of folks flocking around them, picking their treasures. It makes me sad, though, that people are no longer willing to devote some good time to preparing this feast of gratitude. It has become, largely, just one more obligatory holiday where so many people just go through the motions and create the feast without any connection to the meaning of it all. Now, sure, much of the meaning could be found within a bunch of white religious zealots who sailed their ships to the New World and began spreading plagues and dominating the intricate balance the indigenous people held within the natural world. But somewhere deeper, I find this holiday a time of celebrating the harvest, the bounty that Mother Earth has given us yet again. Celebrating the beauty of togetherness, and creating food in community. Of celebrating gratitude for all that we receive. And there is something that makes my skin crawl about the whole way people buy the ready-made pie without knowing who made it, and without knowing where it came from, and without caring a bit about those things. One more way that Americans want what they want, cheap and convenient and easy, without needing to contribute much of themselves to it, other than money. *shiver*

And with these things in mind, I am feeling super-inspired to cook. I am feeling grateful for having a lot of time this week. I am also feeling grateful for the slowness I have been inviting into my life since I began this blog, contemplating voluntary simplicity. To me, cooking a feast to share with my beloveds is the very essence of what makes life worth living. And *that* is something that I am grateful for this Thanksgiving.

Microwaves and Convenience

Another blessed, quiet, beautiful morning on my porch. Cool wind blowing the trees, overcast sky with windows of pure blue. Kitty on the rug staring me down, begging for my breakfast. And it's truly a cat's delight...oatmeal with flax and dried cranberries...haha! There is some noise off in the distance that is probably some kind of road construction team. When I first heard it, still in my dreamy morning mind, I imagined that it was a drum circle really rocking out! Oh, the joy that would bring, to wake up to that kind of "noise" on any given day! But, too, there are other sounds that draw me in more deeply than the road construction noises far away. Crickets are singing their songs, and a couple of crows are calling out to each other. Could they still be chasing that hawk, like they were on Sunday? These are the timeless sounds that lure me out of my mind, and into my heart...into the whole wide world, of which I am an inseparable part.

Yesterday I had another crunchy time. It was mid-afternoon. I had enjoyed a luxurious morning, and had finally gotten myself together to leave the house. I needed to take care of a few errands, stop by my friends' house to take care of some housesitting chores, and have some lunch before I made my way to class. Unfortunately I didn't allow myself enough time to take care of all of it. I left my friends' house with ten minutes to spare, hoping to stop by David's Natural Market to get some lunch. Okay, it was nearly 430pm, that's not exactly "lunch" as we define it in this culture. But it was the time when I needed to eat something, and I was hoping to find something good there. Well, I did. The kitchen closed at 4pm, and I found some prepared foods in a case nearby. I went to the "cafe" area of David's in search of a microwave. Nothing. I looked around, curious. Nothing. Finally, I found an employee, and asked her where I could heat up the food. She wasn't sure, and asked an older man, who was sitting at a desk in the front. He gruffly informed me that there was no microwave. Now, in the open kitchen, I had walked by one! I said as much, and asked if someone could just heat up the food for me. Once more, gruffly, he said "we're not supposed to do that. The kitchen is closed and that is that." I was stunned. There was a microwave right there, in a food-prep section. But because of some arbitrary "rules" he was flat-out refusing to render my beans and rice dish edible. Not that it was busy, I was the only customer in sight. Just out of beaurocratic rules...or perhaps he might cite a "health code violation" if I pushed him further. Stunned, I dropped the food on the conveyor belt by the register, and informed them they'd lost this customer.

There are so many pieces of this that are fucked up! That a food market that prepares food and sells that very food would refuse to heat that food for a customer - this is insanity! That "we're not supposed to" is used as an excuse - this is pathetic at best. That some arbitrary bullshit rules actually have some degree of weight in peoples' lives - as opposed to stepping up with some degree of personal responsibility and making the decision that is kind, humane, logical. And stepping beyond this isolated incident - that this is the SECOND time in around a week that I have been given the same answer!! My mind is effectively blown.

But what I'm also hearing beyond this is important to acknowledge too. I have been on the fence about having a microwave for a while now. It sure is fast and convenient when it comes down to eating or not eating at the last minute. I've had friends who absolutely refuse to own a microwave because of the fact that it's using radiation to heat food...and that it destroys the quality of the food. And now, twice in a week, I have been refused access to a microwave in public to heat my food. Irritating, yes. But is it also pointing me to a deeper need?

I have let go of convenience in many parts of my life. I cook for myself much of the time, instead of going out to eat. I take my own bags to the supermarket. I opt for products with no packaging whenever I can, and then factor into my purchases the environmental impact of whatever packaging there is. I almost never buy processed foods in the market, and when I do, I only buy organic. I try to be as economical as possible about driving, and include as many stops as possible in a small area, so to not waste gas driving all over the place. I have been composting my organic waste for more than a year, and will hopefully have something to contribute to the health of the garden once Spring returns. I enjoy making choices that are better for the environment, and also in alignment with my own desire to slow down and enjoy life more. I don't buy cookie dough at the store - I bake my own from scratch, and wow, they are so much better! Has the day come for me to let go of this next "convenience" - to get rid of the microwave?

Once again, I am brought back to the very thing that made me decide to start this blog in the first place - contemplating my life, and the changes that I may need to make in order to live more simply, and also to nurture myself in ways that are missing. Do I really need a microwave? I don't often buy frozen food, and have found a variety of ways to heat leftovers - in pots, in the oven, in the toaster oven, in my steamer. Hmmm...this sounds just about right. Maybe it's time to put the microwave in my basement, right next to the TV. ;)

Fortunately, on my way to class, I did decide to stop and find some food. I stopped in another small health food store - Good Life Market in Severna Park. They always have several crocks of homemade soups, hot and organic, and vegetarian, and ready to go. The owners are Indian, and so very nice. They asked which soup I chose, and told me that the Curried Cauliflower Chickpea is one of their favorites, very satisfying as a whole meal. I left, dinner in hand, feeling like my faith in humanity had been restored. This is a business that I am grateful to support. And the soup, as always, was amazing.