What an amazing Thanksgiving. I am too tired to write much right now, but want to acknowledge the beautiful beings that graced my day: Ali, Ali, Forrest, Caitlin, Peyton, Sara, Max, Tiny, and Friday. Thank you all for being in my life.
An especially beautiful day, too, since today is my 12th anniversary of bringing Friday kitty into my life. Twelve years ago at Clinton Adams' Thanksgiving gathering for students, he introduced me to this sweet little skinny kitty. And now, so many years later, he is a round little Buddha. My life is especially blessed by him.
The conversations tonight were so open and real and beautiful. I am grateful to have connected and listened and spoken with such wonderful people. Each one revealed something that was so rich and brought much meaning to my day. I am endlessly grateful.
I am also grateful for a suggestion from Ali: what if I didn't replace my car at all, and worked to live as a pedestrian, and perhaps rent a car when I need one, or take public transport? What if, indeed... Quite possibly, this is the best suggestion I've had in a long, long time...hmmm...
Thursday, November 26, 2009
Monday, November 23, 2009
The Heart of Thanksgiving
Thanksgiving week is here. And I have so much to be grateful for in my life. I am going to enjoy spending time each day devoting my attention to all the blessings my life has generously given me. Most recently, I am grateful to be alive and well in this body that I call my home. After my accident, I am feeling a renewed sense of gratitude for my life. Especially since during the previous week I spent a lot of time saying "fuck it all" and "what is the point of this life anyway?" I wonder if I had given more energy to that kind of thinking whether my accident would have turned out any differently... What I do know is that life gives us all opportunities to check out or to decide to stay around. And I am feeling pretty clear right now that I am exactly where I need to be. This life has a lot more to offer me, and I have a lot more to offer it.
I have a bright red rental car right now, and was able to go to the body shop and empty my car of so much crap. I was told that they should have an opportunity to check out my car tomorrow and hopefully determine the cost of repairs, and whether or not my insurance company will pay for those repairs or total the car. Either way, it is pretty much empty now. I took away bag after bag of stuff: two large plastic garbage bags filled with glass and plastic recycling, a bag of clothes and shoes, another bag of papers and binders, and several more bags of random stuff. I even found an umbrella! I didn't know I even owned one...
I am also grateful that I could go grocery shopping tonight. I pulled out a cookbook from a Buddhist monastery, and found a couple of heavenly sounding recipes. One was for quinoa lentil mushroom loaf, and the other was for sweet potato burritos. Unfortunately, I ended up needing a lot of ingredients, and headed out to Trader Joe's and My Organic Market. By the time I got home, it was nearly 8pm, and my steam for cooking up a feast had withered. So, tomorrow night I will have good things to create, and that sounds wonderful!
One of the things that I get frustrated with this time of year, though, is the whole speedy convenience living of it all. Trader Joe's was filled with tables and shelves of ready-made foods that would be luxurious and tasty for the holiday. And there were tons of folks flocking around them, picking their treasures. It makes me sad, though, that people are no longer willing to devote some good time to preparing this feast of gratitude. It has become, largely, just one more obligatory holiday where so many people just go through the motions and create the feast without any connection to the meaning of it all. Now, sure, much of the meaning could be found within a bunch of white religious zealots who sailed their ships to the New World and began spreading plagues and dominating the intricate balance the indigenous people held within the natural world. But somewhere deeper, I find this holiday a time of celebrating the harvest, the bounty that Mother Earth has given us yet again. Celebrating the beauty of togetherness, and creating food in community. Of celebrating gratitude for all that we receive. And there is something that makes my skin crawl about the whole way people buy the ready-made pie without knowing who made it, and without knowing where it came from, and without caring a bit about those things. One more way that Americans want what they want, cheap and convenient and easy, without needing to contribute much of themselves to it, other than money. *shiver*
And with these things in mind, I am feeling super-inspired to cook. I am feeling grateful for having a lot of time this week. I am also feeling grateful for the slowness I have been inviting into my life since I began this blog, contemplating voluntary simplicity. To me, cooking a feast to share with my beloveds is the very essence of what makes life worth living. And *that* is something that I am grateful for this Thanksgiving.
I have a bright red rental car right now, and was able to go to the body shop and empty my car of so much crap. I was told that they should have an opportunity to check out my car tomorrow and hopefully determine the cost of repairs, and whether or not my insurance company will pay for those repairs or total the car. Either way, it is pretty much empty now. I took away bag after bag of stuff: two large plastic garbage bags filled with glass and plastic recycling, a bag of clothes and shoes, another bag of papers and binders, and several more bags of random stuff. I even found an umbrella! I didn't know I even owned one...
I am also grateful that I could go grocery shopping tonight. I pulled out a cookbook from a Buddhist monastery, and found a couple of heavenly sounding recipes. One was for quinoa lentil mushroom loaf, and the other was for sweet potato burritos. Unfortunately, I ended up needing a lot of ingredients, and headed out to Trader Joe's and My Organic Market. By the time I got home, it was nearly 8pm, and my steam for cooking up a feast had withered. So, tomorrow night I will have good things to create, and that sounds wonderful!
One of the things that I get frustrated with this time of year, though, is the whole speedy convenience living of it all. Trader Joe's was filled with tables and shelves of ready-made foods that would be luxurious and tasty for the holiday. And there were tons of folks flocking around them, picking their treasures. It makes me sad, though, that people are no longer willing to devote some good time to preparing this feast of gratitude. It has become, largely, just one more obligatory holiday where so many people just go through the motions and create the feast without any connection to the meaning of it all. Now, sure, much of the meaning could be found within a bunch of white religious zealots who sailed their ships to the New World and began spreading plagues and dominating the intricate balance the indigenous people held within the natural world. But somewhere deeper, I find this holiday a time of celebrating the harvest, the bounty that Mother Earth has given us yet again. Celebrating the beauty of togetherness, and creating food in community. Of celebrating gratitude for all that we receive. And there is something that makes my skin crawl about the whole way people buy the ready-made pie without knowing who made it, and without knowing where it came from, and without caring a bit about those things. One more way that Americans want what they want, cheap and convenient and easy, without needing to contribute much of themselves to it, other than money. *shiver*
And with these things in mind, I am feeling super-inspired to cook. I am feeling grateful for having a lot of time this week. I am also feeling grateful for the slowness I have been inviting into my life since I began this blog, contemplating voluntary simplicity. To me, cooking a feast to share with my beloveds is the very essence of what makes life worth living. And *that* is something that I am grateful for this Thanksgiving.
Sunday, November 22, 2009
Gratitude
For the moment, the only place in the house with a reliable internet connection is on the floor at the top of the stairs. This is going to likely limit my blogging for tonight...it's cold, and my body isn't terribly comfortable in any position right now.
One small rant is necessary now. I am absolutely done expending energy on people who can't show up. I am a person of integrity. When I say I'll show up, I will be there. If I have issues making that happen, I will communicate it. And I have little tolerance for people who don't respect my time. Is it so hard, really, to make plans and stay with them, or just NOT make the plans in the first place? People who are consistently late really get under my skin...and people who are consistently significantly late lose me entirely. I simply will not bother to maintain any kind of relationship with people who live that way. I am committed to showing up in my life: on time, authentic, honest, fully present to the best of my ability. And I really do ask that in return. When that need isn't honored - the need for consistency, respect, trust - I need to take care of myself and walk away. Just sayin'...
Life feels strange right now. With the car accident making me less than mobile, I have a very free week ahead of me. My students on Monday and Wednesday have cancelled for Thanksgiving, and I cancelled my DC work on Monday, since I couldn't get a rental car in time. I have very little in the way of committments this week, other than Thanksgiving itself. I also cancelled going to work in the student massage clinic on Tuesday night. My body is still in far too much discomfort to manage that. So, I will enjoy this gift of time and space that this accident has provided me, and wait until the insurance company has given me the word on my car. Maybe I'll be spending some time this week car shopping...
For now, I am happy to be alive and well, reading Harry Potter, and enjoying these days in ease. My body does ache, and my right breast is purple from bruising from the seatbelt, but I am in one piece with no significant damage. That's plenty to be grateful for, indeed.
One small rant is necessary now. I am absolutely done expending energy on people who can't show up. I am a person of integrity. When I say I'll show up, I will be there. If I have issues making that happen, I will communicate it. And I have little tolerance for people who don't respect my time. Is it so hard, really, to make plans and stay with them, or just NOT make the plans in the first place? People who are consistently late really get under my skin...and people who are consistently significantly late lose me entirely. I simply will not bother to maintain any kind of relationship with people who live that way. I am committed to showing up in my life: on time, authentic, honest, fully present to the best of my ability. And I really do ask that in return. When that need isn't honored - the need for consistency, respect, trust - I need to take care of myself and walk away. Just sayin'...
Life feels strange right now. With the car accident making me less than mobile, I have a very free week ahead of me. My students on Monday and Wednesday have cancelled for Thanksgiving, and I cancelled my DC work on Monday, since I couldn't get a rental car in time. I have very little in the way of committments this week, other than Thanksgiving itself. I also cancelled going to work in the student massage clinic on Tuesday night. My body is still in far too much discomfort to manage that. So, I will enjoy this gift of time and space that this accident has provided me, and wait until the insurance company has given me the word on my car. Maybe I'll be spending some time this week car shopping...
For now, I am happy to be alive and well, reading Harry Potter, and enjoying these days in ease. My body does ache, and my right breast is purple from bruising from the seatbelt, but I am in one piece with no significant damage. That's plenty to be grateful for, indeed.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Urpi
Inside a hostel in Cusco, Peru